Patrick McCoy and Caileigh Cashman have been together for a little more than three years. Caileigh had been dealing with endometriosis symptoms well before they met, and Patrick knew something was wrong pretty quickly in their relationship.
“She’d be super energetic and just go, go, go, but then it would hit her,” Patrick said. “A lot of fatigue and a lot of pain.”
While that once was difficult for Patrick to comprehend, he is now Caileigh’s fiercest advocate. Patrick is one of 50 members on EndoFound’s Team EndoStrong running in the New York City Marathon on November 2. He’s blown through his goal of raising $5,000 for the foundation, hopes to raise thousands more, and is using his platform to speak to anyone, especially men, unfamiliar with the disease and its effects.
“You may be aggravated that they can’t run around all day or have to stop to rest a lot, but you have to tell yourself that the pain they’re in is something you will never feel or fully understand. You just have to comfort them and be there for them,” Patrick said. “And the feeling you get when you see how tough they are and they hit all their milestones—you can’t replicate it anywhere. Just seeing Caileigh get through a day and accomplish as much as she does is pretty cool.”
Patrick and Caileigh, both 25, live about 90 minutes apart, he in Niantic, Connecticut, and she in Mansfield, Massachusetts. Caileigh was 16 when she started feeling symptoms, including pain that was severe enough to keep her home from school.
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“No one brought up the possibility that it could be anything but painful periods,” Caileigh said. “It started with me passing out a lot, and they’d attribute it to anemia and put me on an iron pill, but that didn’t fix anything.”
Over the next several years, Caileigh saw four or five doctors and took various medications, none of which helped. She was hospitalized once as a teen for intense lower abdominal pain, but doctors couldn’t find a reason for it. In 2022, she was hospitalized again when a cyst burst. The following year, Caileigh found a doctor who suspected she may have endometriosis, something that, even while studying to be a nurse practitioner, Caileigh had never heard of. The doctor did a laparoscopy, but…
“It was just diagnostic, just for biopsies. There was no removal of lesions,” Caileigh said. “I was under the impression that they were going to remove everything. I mean, if you’re in there, why wouldn’t you? And there was no real conversation afterward about what stage I was in or what the next steps would be. They just said I’d be on birth control for the rest of my life.”
With an endometriosis diagnosis, Caileigh searched for a new specialist she trusted to excise the disease, and she finally found one this year. Caileigh said that based on an ultrasound, her doctor suspects the endometriosis may be in stage III. She will have surgery on September 18.
“I’m counting the days,” she said. “I work part-time now because I was just finishing school, so I battle through the symptoms as much as I can. It’s definitely affected my work, school, and social life. I was with Patrick last week and needed to lie down because the pain was excruciating.”
Caileigh plans to recover soon enough from surgery to cheer on Patrick at the marathon. For Patrick, running for her and EndoFound is part of what has been an intriguing journey.
“I can’t always help her, but I have a biology degree, so I’ve enjoyed researching this for her and having a purpose,” Patrick said. “I study it as much as I can, and I’ve created a food plan for her that she sticks to, which makes her feel better. She obviously needs a lot of rest, but I also try to keep her moving by going for walks or just getting out and doing something.”
This will be Patrick’s first New York City Marathon, and his fourth marathon overall. He has a lofty goal of finishing in three and a half hours, though he has two other goals that mean much more to him. One is raising as much money as he can for EndoFound—and he’s currently one of Team EndoStrong’s top fundraisers. The other is to bring awareness to the disease, which is already coming to fruition.
“There’s been a crazy amount of outreach,” Patrick said. “About 10 to 15 people reached out to me saying that their girlfriends have been diagnosed with endometriosis, including a couple who I haven’t talked to in probably 15 years.”
For Caileigh, Patrick’s support has meant everything.
“If I talk about it too much, I’ll start crying,” she said. “I’m just overwhelmed with gratitude. He’s been with me through my diagnosis and all the issues. He’s been educating himself about it and wants others to be educated on it as well. I’ve been following EndoFound forever, and I’m very excited that he’s doing this. It makes me happy and hopeful.”
To support Patrick McCoy in the New York City Marathon with a donation, visit https://give.endofound.org/fundraiser/6258335.
